So, I feel like a dumb ass. The problem was the new battery I bought a month ago was faulty. Had one bad cell.
I was troubleshooting it as a parasitic drain because I thought that originally it was draining over time. That was not the case. If there was even the slightest load being put on the battery, such as locking or unlocking the car, the battery would drain the 2.1 volts of the bad cell.
Since I was checking voltage right after charging, then checking again later I had assumed it was a slow drain. Not my brightest moment lol